Emily’s Quest

August 12, 2009

An Imperfect Post About Perfection

Filed under: Life Updates, Philosophising — Tags: , , — Emily @ 8:02 am

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.

– Miss Piggy

I have realised that I am too often paralysed by my self-imposed need for perfection.

I haven’t written a post on here for ages because I wanted just the right quotes and just the right words, I wanted it to be a perfect piece before I even sent it out into the world, I didn’t want to expose the messiness and imperfection of my own life.  I have a pile of unreplied-to e-mails in my inbox because I’m waiting for the time when I can sit down and reply to them “properly”.  I start courses and careers and then quit, partly because there is a little voice in me saying – what if I suck at this?  What if I’m not the best there is at this?  What if I’m not perfect?

It’s like I’d rather do nothing than do anything to any standard less than perfection.

Perfection being unachievable, it means I’ve spent a lot of my life achieving nothing.

Recently I’ve been learning to let go of my need for perfection.   I’ve been learning that maybe ‘good enough’ really is sometimes good enough.  I’ve been learning that maybe you’ll get more done and achieved aiming for good enough than you will paralysed by the fear that you’ll never do it perfect so why even start?

So I started this post with a quote I chose, not because it is perfect for this post, but because it is funny.  I’m starting to kind of approach life that way.

My life since I last wrote has followed a convoluted path that has somehow lead perfectly (there’s that word!) to exactly where I need and want to be.  I am now studying a Bachelor of Health Science (Paramedic) at Auckland University of Technology and living on the North Shore in Auckland (that means I’ll one day drive ambulances and you know, fix broken people – at least enough to get them to the hospital).  I love it.  I’m living with a crazy boy and a couple of random flatmates and some nutty-arse dogs and some gorgeous, crazy kids and it’s messy and hard and takes some getting used to and I love it.  By letting go of all need to be seen as perfect, by going with the flow of life and not giving two craps what anyone else thinks of it, I have somehow landed in this happy little niche that seems like it was just waiting for me to wake up and embrace life.

Now I’m about to head off to my part time job  – as a clinical transcriptionist (doesn’t that sound so much cooler than ‘medical typist? :P) at Greenlane Hospital in Auckland.  It is casual, easy, well-paying, has hours to suit, and is – well – perfect.

I will write more of an update on my life later.  But now I gotta run.  So I’m not going to end this on some beautifully phrased piece of poignance.  It’s not a perfect post.  But I reckon, for now, it’s better than nothing – and it’s good enough.

 

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